Three years ago, I wrote two articles about how I work a full-time job at home with two very young children (you can find them here and here). What I wrote in these articles feels like a lifetime ago, so I thought it might be helpful to provide some reflections on how my working life has evolved as my kids have grown.
- In short, it has gotten easier in some ways and harder in some ways. Mostly, though, it’s gotten easier.
- When I wrote the first articles, I was very new to my job and my kids were 2 and 1. I felt overwhelmed at times. But jobs don’t stay new forever, and babies don’t keep. While I will regularly have to make adjustments as my job and my kids change, I now see how these changes occur in seasons. It doesn’t always feel like reinventing the wheel each time.
- The kids/work balance is still hard to strike, and probably always will be, for differing reasons. I never want my kids to feel like they take second place to my job, but I also want to be a faithful employee. And, with my personality, I usually feel like I’m failing at both!
- I never want to take for granted the level of grace, understanding, and patience I receive from my employer and coworkers. To work in an environment that places a high value on family is such a gift.
- It’s in light of #4 that I strive to produce high quality and consistent work, even if that means working off business hours (weekends, early mornings, and sometimes holidays). I gladly take that trade off if it means I can be present with my kids during the workday.
- In light of #5, I also recognize that I’m in the unique position of having an external facing role, and one of the few on campus that does not often require my physical presence. However, I am still part of a team and make as much effort as I can to be regularly present in my office and available to help with the events our office conducts throughout the year. Thank the Lord for grandparents who are always willing to help us out with the kids during those times.
- Now that my kids are older, they need less hands-on help and can understand that I have to work at times. So while I no longer have naptimes or early mornings to get work done, I now have more time to work while they’re at school or just running around the house.
- However, there are new challenges to working at home with school-age kids–carpool (which is more of a disruption to the day than I expected), extracurriculars, play dates, and school functions. Managing my time has become increasingly important because it’s so easily filled with other things now.
- My kids entertain themselves really well, but I can always tell when they may be tired of my working for too long. When they both set up camp in the office after they’ve been playing for a while, I know it’s time to break from work and give them some extra attention. They don’t know how to articulate this, so learning these cues has been important.
-
Employed or not, this is a consistent truth for me is a mom: I daily have to die to myself in order to make sure my kids’ needs are met–not just physical, but spiritual and emotional as well. They still need my attention and care, though it may look different. Most of all, they need me to give them Jesus.
I am so naturally task-oriented. It is tempting to interpret my kids’ growing self-sufficiency, ability to play well together, and capacity to understand that I’m working as an excuse to lean into my task-oriented-ness (I’m sure that’s not a real word), so I daily have to remind myself to treat them as more important than myself.
- It gets sweeter. As I’m writing this, I’m sitting at a coffee shop with my 5 year old, who’s drinking a hot chocolate and reading while I do a bit of admin work. Working from home with kids might be challenging in some ways, but I feel so fortunate that I get to do both.
